My New Year's Resolutions

I can't believe 2016 has already come to an end.  I have no overall complaints about 2016 other than my mom dying.  That pretty much makes 2016 the worst year ever.  But other than that, it was a fine year.  2017 already has a leg up on 2016 simply because my mom can't die again.  Granted, my 96-year-old grandma or my 98-year-old grandpa could, but that won't shock anyone.  It'd be sad, but not shocking.

I'm looking forward to 2017 for many reasons, one of which are the goals I'm going to accomplish.  See what I did there?  I said "going to" rather than "hope to" or "try to".  I'm going in confidant that I'll be successful.

I recently read an article entitled If It Doesn’t Suck, It’s Not Worth Doing and it inspired me. Now, I can't do what the author suggests which is finishing a project no matter how long it takes because I'm a mom.  I can't ignore my responsibilities (read: kids) until I finish said project, but I can commit my free *cough* time to it until it's finished.  There are two big ones that I have my sights set on.

First, my family photo album.  I started this album 3 years into my marriage and we'll celebrate number 12 this month.  I covered the first 6 months of my relationship with my husband.  Fast forward 8 years to when I finally started working on it again.  I've gotten a lot done, but it's been emotionally hard.  I lived with my parents when I was dating my husband and after getting married, I lived 5 minutes away for 2 years.  It was a lot harder than I expected to document that time in my life.  I looked at a lot of pictures of my mom. They found the cancer right before my first anniversary.  I was the only child living close to my parents during this time so I was heavily involved.  It was draining to see the happy, seemingly healthy mom turn to the frail cancer survivor in pictures.  I had to take several breaks.  I've completed our wedding album and almost the first 2 years of our relationship. I should include that digital cameras were just coming out at this time and very few people had one.  We didn't have one until around our second anniversary so doing this album has required hard copies.  It's funny to look at the album too because the first twenty or so pages are really decorative and pretty.  The further you go the plainer they become.  It's apparent that I lost interest and am just trying to finish the stupid thing.  Once I'm through the second year, I can switch to digital which should go much quicker.

I'd like to include why I want to finish these albums so much.  A week before my mom died the whole family gathered to say our last goodbyes.  My brother-in-law stood in her room and took pictures of the comings and goings.  My sister created an album with these pictures and gave each of us one for Christmas.  It's very hard to look at, but I'm really glad I have it.  BUT, I don't want the only album in my house to be the one where my mom is dying.  I'd like my kids to be able to grab a book and see my mom healthy and happy. Really good motivation right there.

Okay, the second thing that I'm going to finish this year is compiling my favorite recipes cookbook.  I started it during a photo album break, but neither project is finished.  I've created a cute template and have entered many of my favorites, but I have yet to print any out, insert them in the plastic sleeves and binder that I bought 3 years ago specifically for this project.  I'm good at procrastinating.

I guess I have another goal on top of those two that I'll work on as I go.  I want to find out who I am away from my children.  I want to establish my identity again now that my kids are getting older and don't need as much from me mentally and physically.  Wish me luck.

Well, there you have it.  My New Year's Resolutions.  I'll keep you updated on these.  I'm determined to finish them no matter how much they suck because, really, if it doesn't suck, it's not worth doing.